Conflict according to Wikipedia is a struggle and a clash of interest, opinion, or even principles. One thing we should understand about conflict is that it is unavoidable.
Therefore, Avoiding Conflict in A Relationship Is Not Healthy
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Learning to express your feelings in a polite manner will make you live healthy. Conflict is bound to happen but then, the ability of us facing it makes it healthier.
Conflict in a simpler definition is a way of life.
Conflict can happen in school, home and mostly in our relationship. Conflict indeed has a negative connotation, but it is healthy to have conflict. It sounds odd but that’s the fact.
Relationship the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected.
We have many types of relationship of which we are bound to have disagreement anytime, anyhow, any day.
What then is relationship conflict? Relationship conflict refers to a disagreement, argument or debate that takes place between two people within a relationship.
Then conflict avoidance in a relationship simply refers to ways by which we shy-away from disagreement by intentionally not dealing with it.
It will interest you to know that conflict avoidance is classified into three major types, and they are:
The ignorer: This is actually the most common methods of avoiding conflict. This way, you don’t deal or have to deal with it and any of the outcomes. For example, a lady suspected her husband to be a cheat but decides to ignore it.
The topic changer: Diverting your attention away from the conflict is another way of conflict avoidance. It happens when someone decides not to face the conflict and chooses to focus on another problem instead.
Those who shut down: They decide to stay on their own thereby pretending that all is fine. This is the worse because while shutting down, the situation gets worse.
A 2011 research study, for instance, found that high conflict avoidance in a relationship will likely cause relationship dissatisfaction for women but not necessarily for men.
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Why Are You Avoiding Conflict
1. Fear of the relationship ending:
The major reason why most people avoid conflict in the relationship is the fear of breakup. They rather die in silence that confront it.
2. Fear of having your partner mad at you:
They think their partner will beat them up or shout at them, so in other to avoid that, they leave conflict and rather cry silently.
3. Fear of being misunderstood:
The fear of being misunderstood could be the reason you don’t want to face your fears.
4. Fear of being rejected:
Most especially when your partner is hot tempered. He might decide to abandoned you even while still standing.
5. Fear of being shunned:
You may decide to circumvent a conflict due to the fear of being shout at or ask to stop talking.
6. Fear of negative evaluation:
This means that people often avoid conflict because they are afraid of being seen in a negative light. People fear being judged, criticized, or rejected if they engage in conflict.
The best way to deal with conflict is to face it and face the consequences.
Avoiding conflict could lead to several damages that can be averted if only we can learn to face it.
Avoiding conflict is just like storing up dirt in a closed container and keep it inside your bedroom. The smell gushing out of that container could be risky to your health. That is also what conflict avoidance does to you.
What happens when we avoid conflict.
Conflict avoidance is unhealthy. There are several damages it does to you when you avoid either by any of the classification as stated above.
1. FRUSTRATION:
In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition, related to anger, annoyance and disappointment.
Frustration arises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of an individual’s will or goal and is likely to increase when a will or goal is denied or blocked (Wikipedia).
Not being able to voice out leads to frustration. You will be devastated. You will be angered and this can lead to sickness.
2. INSOMNIA:
Medically, it has been proven that when one is not happy, it led to sleepless night.
This also is applicable to us when we refuse to face our conflict. We will spend all the whole night thinking about instead of resting.
3. SUICIDE:
I know you will be surprised I mentioned that. Yes, not facing your conflict and resolving it will lead to frustration then from there it can lead to suicide.
Most times, we hear that people died after they saw their spouse on bed with another person.
The truth is that, he/she might fall under those that ignore situation and bottle it up. It becomes so unbearable and they decide to end their life.
It is dangerous to avoid conflict. Voice out.
4. RESENTMENT:
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” – Nelson Mandela. It can also negatively affect physical intimacy in a relationship.
Physical intimacy is an essential part of any relationship. When two people avoid conflict, it can often lead to a decrease in physical intimacy.
This cause when two people are not communicating, they are not connecting on a physical level either.
Physical intimacy is about connection, and when there is no communication, there is no connection. So, conflict avoidance can lead to Resentment Then To Communication Breakdown.
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5. HEALTH RISK:
When you engage your brain with numerous unreasonable thought that can possible lead to depression, anxiety before you know it, the doctor will be diagnosing you of high blood pressure and some health-related issue that occurs when someone is thinking.
6. MURDER:
Surprised again? Well, conflict avoidance can lead to murder. The more you bottle up your anger and pretend that all is fine but deep down you are dying.
The more you hold grudges, the more you hate the person and someday, you might mistakenly due to your emotion instability kill the person.
So, why not speak to your partner today? Remember conflict avoidance is dangerous.
